EVALUATING THE YEAR SO FAR
I can't even put into words how great 2017 has been compared to the last three-ish years. The greatest stand out is that my husband is happy and healthy again, and that's really all that matters. But my mindset and my thinking have changed too, and the difference that's made for me is phenomenal. For a long time, I was a positive thinker and really believed in in things like everything happening for a reason and what you put out into the universe is what comes back to you. But then I fell off the wagon and got overwhelmed in a cloud of "doom" if you will. It wasn't a fun place to be. But we made it through the storm and we're finally seeing the rainbow, and it's even sweeter than I could have imagined.
While there's still struggles that we're facing - finances being the biggest one and the only reason it's such an issue is that I still am struggling with finding full-time work. The struggles don't seem so scary and monstrous anymore. I was able to do some wonderful contract work at the beginning of the year in the career field that I want to get into, and when that came to an end, I immediately found part-time work in an office...and I am loving it! The steady paychecks from this job helpful, as well as having working experience that grows my resume and is in an environment that is healthy and positive (not like my old job that I had to leave in October because of health reasons). So while it's still not where I want it to be - it's far and above a better place than I was in six months ago. And I'm so grateful for that!
Honestly, my biggest wish for this year is that we would find our happiness again. That we would find our motivation and our strength to tackle these dreams and goals we've got. I feel like these things are finally becoming achievable. That we are finally getting out of the rut we've been spinning in for the past three years. It's slow and steady, but that's what wins the race. I know the financial stability, the home ownership, the babies will come when they're meant to...because hindsight really is 20/20. Looking back on what's happened over the past few years, I see how and why we are where we are now. And, really, as long as we're together...that's all that matters.
I started creating inspirational images with Disney quotes on them as a way to help keep myself in a positive mindset. While I still get stressed out and overwhelmed, I really feel that I've taken back control of my thoughts, my actions, and my emotions. I continue to work on it every single day, because fear and anxiety can be so strong and, for a while, I was letting them win because life was making me so unhappy and upset. But for myself, for my husband, and for our future...I refuse to let that happen anymore! This is our life and our story and we will make it what we want it to be.
Now that we're in the sixth month of the year (which is crazy to think about!), feel so confident about our future is something I didn't think I'd be feeling right now. We have some great things to look forward two in the second half of the year, including our four year wedding anniversary, and a family vacation in August. There's certainly things to continue working on, but every day is a new opportunity to be the best version of yourself that you can be. It's a beautiful thing when you can find your faith, your spirit, and your fire again. It really can be life-changing.