We had a morning wedding, which meant we got married at 1030AM! That also means that the whole “getting ready” part of the day happened at the crack of dawn, so everyone was set to arrive at the church at 7AM. And everyone did...except for me. I was 15 minutes late!

I slept about three hours the night before my wedding. I have never felt so sick and full of nerves in my entire life. I could not get my mind to stop running or my heart to stop racing. I don’t think it would have been as bad, except having anxiety makes everything twice as worse as it should be. I could not get myself to calm down no matter how hard I tried! In the morning before my mom and I left to go to the church, she made me breathe into a brown paper bag to calm myself down (it actually works - scientifically speaking, breathing carbon dioxide slows down your heart rate and your thinking...and in times of anxiety and panic, that’s exactly what you need to do because you're actually getting too much oxygen!).

The day of the wedding was a beautiful, calm, and peaceful day. The girls got ready down in the basement, and the boys go ready in the "playroom" of the church. The boys, of course, were done by like 745AM and the wedding wasn’t until 1030AM, so they started in on pictures (and because they had so much time, got way more pictures than us girls did!). The girls had hair to be done and makeup to be done and the whole getting dressed part...and that took until about 9AM. Then we did our pictures, but not as many as the boys got to have, and we didn’t get to go out front of the church as I had hoped to because people had already started to arrive at that point.

It’s funny, because as sick and stressed and nervous as I was the night before the wedding, the second I stepped foot into the church, that all went away. I had prayed the night before that I wanted to be overcome with such a sense of peace on my wedding day. I wanted people who be like, “What’s going on with you? How are you so calm!?” and I got my wish. I have never felt so calm, so ready, to happy and excited and peaceful as I did. I like to think my grandpa (who died before I ever met him but I believe is my guaridan angel) was with me that day and helping me feel that way. To go from literally feeling like I was dying from all my anxiety to feeling such ease was crazy...but I'm so glad it did! However, I was only able to eat half a bagel and husband only had three-quarters of a banana (so he tells me) because the nerves were still there. Eating was something we knew we had to do but didn’t feel like doing! I'm glad we tried, though, because we wouldn’t eat again for quite a few hours and we’re famished by the time the reception lunch happened!

Getting ready was such a fun part of the day. Spending time with all my ladies and feeling so much love and excitement. I requested to my brother (the best man) that on the day of the wedding, all the boys came to see me and say hi - and they did! It was so nice to see them all in their tuxedo's. The energy in the room is something I'll probably never feel was so much fun, and I tried to make sure I soaked in every moment. I know husband enjoyed those few hours in the morning too. I know he was loving being surrounded by his closest friends and family. He lives for those times.